Boarding School Visiting Weekends: Make It a Trip

Boarding school doesn't have to mean seeing your teenager at the airport twice a year. Most boarders go to school within a day's drive of home, and many boarding schools sit in places people travel to anyway: mountains, forests, small towns, red-rock country, the coast. A visit can be one of the better weekends your family has, as long as it's planned around your teenager rather than around the trip.

Most boarders aren't that far from home

The picture of boarding school as a long way away doesn't match where most boarders actually go. A 2015 analysis by The Association of Boarding Schools (TABS) found that about 40% of North American boarders attended a school in their home state or province, and about 27% in a neighboring one. For many families, the school is a few hours' drive away, not a flight.

That changes what boarding feels like. You can come to a game, take your teenager to dinner, or bring them home for a long weekend. If home is close enough, five-day boarding puts them home every weekend.

The place is part of it

Many boarding schools have large campuses, often outside cities, since a school where students live needs room. That tends to put them near trails, lakes, mountains or a pretty main street.

So a visit can be a small trip: a hike with your teenager on Saturday morning, a meal somewhere new, a night in a town you'd never have gone to otherwise. Younger siblings get to see where their brother or sister lives, which helps them understand it too. Some families find they know the school's region better than places closer to home by the time their teenager graduates.

Make the visit about them

The trip is a bonus. The point is your teenager, and a few habits help:

Follow their calendar. Ask about games, performances and study time before you book. A visit that pulls them out of something they care about isn't a gift.
Wait a few weeks at the start. In the first weeks, a visit can stir up homesickness rather than ease it. Ask the school when families usually first visit, and stay in touch by phone in the meantime.
Use the school's family weekends. Many schools hold a family or parents' weekend each term, with classes to sit in on and teachers to meet. Ask for the dates early, since nearby rooms fill up.
Leave room for ordinary time. Some of the best visits are just lunch, laundry and a walk. Let them choose part of the plan, and let them show you their world: the dorm, the dining hall, the trail they run.
Meet the adults. A short hello to the dorm parent or advisor makes later conversations easier. See What does a dorm parent actually do?

Who this doesn't apply to

If your family is a long flight from the school, visits will be rarer, more expensive and more planned, and that's a real trade-off to weigh before choosing a school far away. And trips cost money; frequent visits to a scenic town can add a lot to an already large bill. A school close enough to drive to, even if it's less famous, may suit your family better.

Sources

Richard Phelps (TABS), "Understanding the Migration Patterns of the North American Boarding Student Population", Enrollment Management Association, 16 December 2015

Frequently asked questions

How often can parents visit a boarding school?

It depends on the school. Most welcome visits on weekends that don't clash with the school's schedule, and many hold a family weekend each term. Ask the school, and ask your teenager.

Should I visit in the first few weeks of boarding school?

Often it's better to wait a few weeks, because an early visit can stir up homesickness. Ask the school what it recommends, and keep in touch by phone or video meanwhile.

How far from home do most boarders go to school?

Closer than many people think. A 2015 TABS analysis found about 40% of North American boarders attended school in their home state or province, and about 27% in a neighboring one.

Last reviewed October 19, 2026.